Ranting and Raving

Seriously, just because Obama is black doesn’t mean you can rap about him and say whatever the hell you want. At first it was cool. We had Jay-Z spitting some inspirational stuff, and we had Young Jeezy talking about blue Lamborghinis and matching rims. I mean it really got me off my ass and out to vote.

But now people who haven’t been hot for years are just throwing his name out there like they were born to do it. Juelz Santana said, and I quote, “Treat you like the first lady, I’ll put my Barrack in ya.” I mean are you serious? Are you seriously telling me that you wrote that down and thought “Yeeeaaaahhhh that shit’s hot AYE! AYE! DIPSET AYE!” Not that I expected much from someone who thinks that all bloggers are automatically gay because they sit at the computer.

I mean I still don’t even know what he means by that. Is he implying that they don’t get any action? Again, not that I expect much from him, but does being gay mean that you don’t get any play? I’ve met some seriously pimpin ass gay guys. Now I know it’s probably hard for him to fathom or comprehend, but just because someone isn’t chasing girls around every corner doesn’t mean that they’re not getting any. I mean what about straight girls? Oh Juelz your stupidity astounds and amuses me.

That brings me on to homophobics. Actually it brings me to anyone who wants to discriminate against anyone else. If you seriously have enough time in your life to think of reasons to dislike and discredit a specific group of people then you’re about as useful as an Asher Roth CD in a room full of college drop outs. You have less right to breathe the same air as me than Paris Hilton. You’re more of a complete douche fuck than Perez Hilton. You deserve to be hung upside down, stripped of your clothes, and beaten to death with wet shoe laces.

And btw it’s not hypocritical of me to completely discredit this group of people because they did it first 

But honestly if people spent the same amount of time trying to solve just one problem everyday the world would be a better place. Solve traffic so I’m not as pissed as early in the morning. Solve the teen pregnancy issue so that I can find ONE girl my age that’s attractive and not sporting a child. Solve money so I can make some more. But no, people just want to sit around and waste time bitching about other people because of their genetic makeup. How retarded is that?

Almost as retarded as the swine flu pandemic. If I’ve ever heard a bigger crock of shit in my life then I have severe amnesia. “But James! People have diiieeeddd!” Yeah and Rihanna got punched in the face. It happens all the time. People die from the flu shot all the fucking time. So why do I care if there’s a summer version of the flu hanging around? I mean can you honestly say you didn’t see this coming? And plus like 70% of the cases come out of Mexico. I mean Jesus Christ if you get a paper cut in Mexico you’re liable to have something amputated. I should get a couple thousand sugar pills and advertise them as “Swine Flu Repellant” and cash in.

But that’s far more planning and effort than I feel obligated to put into anything at the moment. So with all that said, I’m done ranting for now. Peace out.

Christening My New Blog

Today is a monumental day in the history of mankind. I've officially started my own blog. Until not long ago I was just another militant guy on facebook who spent his time sitting at work, bitching about things he couldn't control to a very limited crowd. But now... NOW I can bitch about things I can't control to the WORLD.

So let's just get right into it. I want to drop kick Tiffany "New York" Pollard square in the ovaries. The world isn't unfamiliar with people that make money without have any actual talents. Paris Hilton and her trust fund, Kim Kardashian and her hotness, Miley Cyrus and her... Lolita-ness? But Tiffany Pollard (who's better known as New York) doesn't have even ONE of those things.

Tiffany Pollard (who's better known by her alias, New York) is possibly the LEAST talented person on the face of the planet. I mean seriously, when you can't even get Flava Flav to put it in you then you've GOT to be the biggest failure in the world. Now granted, he probably hit it, but he wasn't down to do it on the regular. Not that I can blame his ugly ass for steering clear of New York's horse-looking ass, but I mean come one. It's Flava fuckin Flav. Dude is like what would happen if you took sin, 4 or 5 pounds of horse feces, hooker blood, and God's hatred for mankind and turned it into a human. If you can't even pull that then you need to stop. And if that wasn't enough she failed TWICE.

But not to be thwarted in her quest for love New York somehow managed to get her own show. Now I've seen maybe 2-4 episodes of her shows through both seasons and this is the gist of it:

New York pays a few guys to sedate a couple dozen randomers and drag them to some house she's stolen from some rich couple she murdered and hid in the basement. Once the hostages wake up they're so sex starved and delusional they somehow think that dating her is anything past a reason to commit the sloppiest suicide imaginable.

Anyways she got 2 seasons of that show and somehow got enough people to watch it that she got another show about how she was going to go to Hollywood and be an actress. Now I thought "She can't be completely talent-less" and watched the first episode. Never have I been so wrong before or since. She is to acting what Paris Hilton is to young girls who want to save themselves for marriage. I mean I should have known since she couldn't even act out "reality" but I mean damn. It was like watching theatrical rat poison being injected into your retina.

Fast forward to today. This horse face skank has the nerve to actually ANOTHER show called "New York Goes to Work" I mean what the hell is this? Is she going to be the reality TV Barbie from Satan’s ass crack that just does random crap because love her, or at least love to hate her? It's unacceptable. It's retarded. I want a show. I'll call it "James Makes Your Mother Cry". The premise will be me walking around making your mother cry. She tries on a dress and I whisper in her ear "nobody wants to tap that, just go back to your romance novels" and I sit back and watch the water works.

But there is something good about New York. She's one of those people that make me truly believe that ANYONE can be famous. Anyone can get a TV show and anyone can be in the spotlight. And while I don't know her net worth I'm sure that if she can get herself on 6 individual seasons of TV then anyone can make a couple million dollars. So take that little gem with you to bed tonight and with you to work or school tomorrow. If New York can walk the streets and not be beaten to death then you can make a few million dollars and live the life.