Christening My New Blog

Today is a monumental day in the history of mankind. I've officially started my own blog. Until not long ago I was just another militant guy on facebook who spent his time sitting at work, bitching about things he couldn't control to a very limited crowd. But now... NOW I can bitch about things I can't control to the WORLD.

So let's just get right into it. I want to drop kick Tiffany "New York" Pollard square in the ovaries. The world isn't unfamiliar with people that make money without have any actual talents. Paris Hilton and her trust fund, Kim Kardashian and her hotness, Miley Cyrus and her... Lolita-ness? But Tiffany Pollard (who's better known as New York) doesn't have even ONE of those things.

Tiffany Pollard (who's better known by her alias, New York) is possibly the LEAST talented person on the face of the planet. I mean seriously, when you can't even get Flava Flav to put it in you then you've GOT to be the biggest failure in the world. Now granted, he probably hit it, but he wasn't down to do it on the regular. Not that I can blame his ugly ass for steering clear of New York's horse-looking ass, but I mean come one. It's Flava fuckin Flav. Dude is like what would happen if you took sin, 4 or 5 pounds of horse feces, hooker blood, and God's hatred for mankind and turned it into a human. If you can't even pull that then you need to stop. And if that wasn't enough she failed TWICE.

But not to be thwarted in her quest for love New York somehow managed to get her own show. Now I've seen maybe 2-4 episodes of her shows through both seasons and this is the gist of it:

New York pays a few guys to sedate a couple dozen randomers and drag them to some house she's stolen from some rich couple she murdered and hid in the basement. Once the hostages wake up they're so sex starved and delusional they somehow think that dating her is anything past a reason to commit the sloppiest suicide imaginable.

Anyways she got 2 seasons of that show and somehow got enough people to watch it that she got another show about how she was going to go to Hollywood and be an actress. Now I thought "She can't be completely talent-less" and watched the first episode. Never have I been so wrong before or since. She is to acting what Paris Hilton is to young girls who want to save themselves for marriage. I mean I should have known since she couldn't even act out "reality" but I mean damn. It was like watching theatrical rat poison being injected into your retina.

Fast forward to today. This horse face skank has the nerve to actually ANOTHER show called "New York Goes to Work" I mean what the hell is this? Is she going to be the reality TV Barbie from Satan’s ass crack that just does random crap because love her, or at least love to hate her? It's unacceptable. It's retarded. I want a show. I'll call it "James Makes Your Mother Cry". The premise will be me walking around making your mother cry. She tries on a dress and I whisper in her ear "nobody wants to tap that, just go back to your romance novels" and I sit back and watch the water works.

But there is something good about New York. She's one of those people that make me truly believe that ANYONE can be famous. Anyone can get a TV show and anyone can be in the spotlight. And while I don't know her net worth I'm sure that if she can get herself on 6 individual seasons of TV then anyone can make a couple million dollars. So take that little gem with you to bed tonight and with you to work or school tomorrow. If New York can walk the streets and not be beaten to death then you can make a few million dollars and live the life.